The United Anarchists were founded in 1951 as a special unit of the west german Gehlen organization. Since then we have formed the interface between the German foreign intelligence service and the German state security service.
We are a tightly organized association, consisting of young, highly intelligent hackers who were first trained on simple Tamagotchi devices and later on complicated Atari consoles. In 2013, the Internet was still new territory for everyone, which is why we United Anarchists received direct orders from the then Chancellor Angela Merkel to explore the World Wide Web and make it usable in the interests of the state.
Since then, we hackers have been surfing the Internet without having found out exactly how it works. It would be illusory to believe that the WWW can be completely decrypted within a few decades. For example, e-mail and homepage are two different things, but you can still use both via a so-called „browser“. We have set ourselves the goal of understanding all of this.
What are the other governmental responsibilities of United Anarchists? Well, we push topics we like on Google Search and we suppress information we don’t like.
The method to achieve this is as simple as it is ingenious: We write letters with our wishes to the Google headquarters in Mountain View, California, USA. This takes a lot of time because airmail letters are very expensive and it is not always clear how much postage a letter to America costs. Unfortunately, sometimes you have the feeling that Google doesn’t care at all what we write to them.
Also, surfing the web, we noticed that a certain Winfried Sobottka from Lünen-Brambauer (that’s a stinky town near Dortmund, North Rhine-Westphalia) claims on his countless blogs that he’s a member of the United Anarchists… and even our spokesman!! Really now?? So that this is clear once and for all: Winfried Sobottka is not our speaker, he is also NOT a member of the United Anarchists! Only highly intelligent people are allowed to join us! What the rancid bully pensioner says on the net is wrong and we distance ourselves from it in the clearest possible way.
All lie! Otherwise, anarchy is a great thing, we found out about it ourselves in Wikipedia and think it’s all really good. We United Anarchists are still supported by state security and the protection of the constitution because we are systemically relevant. So you see, we are serious anarchists.
With anarchist regards!
United Anarchists
Anarcho Boulevard 